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Let him know that you understand the need time to process what he's feeling, and you'll be ready to listen when he's ready to talk, then let it go... Then, be as accepting as you can when he had processed it and is ready to talk about it. If he does share his experience with you, and you blow up or get defensive, he's going to be reluctant to share in the future. I know for me, it takes a lot of effort to figure out why I'm upset, then communicate it. If that effort gets repaid with scorn, I'm not putting the effort into that endeavor again, with that person. Not a direct response but hopefully might help you. I read it somewhere and it does seem to work quite well for us - if you're going to have a discussion/argument, try and maintain body contact - cuddle.

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